Monday, February 25, 2008

And the Enviro Guilt Sets In...

I have used the same Nalgene water bottle since either my sophomore or junior year of high school. It's been so long I can't even remember which. Ol' Nal and I were tighter than tight. It went everywhere with me. I even took to keeping it next to my bed for when I needed a drink late at night or wanted to down some Ambien. It had a recycling sticker on it that was all bubbly and weird looking from being run through the dishwasher. I had to replace the cap because mine melted when it touched the hot blade of said dishwasher. I had a little mouth guard too, because I was so fond of gulping, but not of impromptu showers. Sadly though, the days of Sarah and Nalgene are gone. All because of Greenpeace and my liberal guilt.Nalgenes are terrible, in case you haven't heard. I actually heard this a year or so ago, but I was already so attached to Old Blue that I decided it was hearsay. Turns out my denial could only last so long. See, Nalgene bottles, when heated, seep out some terrible gases that slowly rot your insides and kill you. Well, this is how Greenpeace staff members make it sound. (What alarmists!) I kind of figured I was doomed from growing up in the 80s/90s and eating Happy Meals and watching TV, and that Nalgene vapors were kind of low on the Things That Are Killing Me List, but whatevs.

Anyway, if you want to know more about how Nalgene is evil/homicidal, follow this link.

So the Greenpeacers are all anti-Nalgene. They're anti a lot of things actually. Now that Nike owns Converse I'm not sure if I'm allowed to wear my Chucks anymore. Oy. The point is, I have caved to peer pressure and bought a Sigg bottle today. Kate and I both felt the need for street cred and bought some eco-chic, Swiss made, $20 (!!!!!) water bottles. Mine is so hardcore and ridiculous though. Here's a picture:Hahaha. But seriously though, could you resist this? It's a skull and crossbones mosaic made up of graphics including: A razor blade, a pentagram, a pinup holding guns, a komodo dragon, and a hammer and sickle. Ooooh, anarchy was never so refreshing! The guy at whole foods told me there's also a matching skateboard for sale. LOL.

So now I am quenching my thirst the sustainable death-free way, while attaining the approval of my comrades, er, co-workers. I still miss my Nalgene, but I'm keeping it in a box in my room (which sounds totally creepy but isn't). Take that Greenies!

1 comment:

Heather said...

Sorry that hear about the frustrating you're enduring. I remember how frustrated I was in the Galapagos when we would talk about all the horrible things happening and that will happen without much of a solution. I didn't understand how afterwards people could just keep on going with their daily life and not think about it again. One of my friends at MSU died about three weeks ago. It was really upsetting because people in his apartment building saw him dead on the couch but did nothing because they figured someone else would. Arggggg!!! Some of the students are working with me and our teacher to commemorate him at a global warming discussion panel. He was working with us in a study so we're thinking of presenting his discoveries and dedicating the event to him or something. One of the classes is just about AIDS so that is very uplifting. I'm on spring break right now even though I'm still working. I'm going back to Urbana soon. I love you and I miss you!!! Winn is moving to Belgium. I looked at those Sigg water bottles since I own three Nalgenes, they look cool. There is one with gorillas on it!!!!! I have so many cool animal things to tell you later. I love my mammalogy class. WE just finished talking about forked penises.